Totally Freaking Out

So I'm sitting in my car doing this blog entry cause Josi is sleep. And rather than move her carseat and risk waking her I decided to sit in the car and get some things done.

So yesterday I hit a wall. I've been trying to stay positive and keep a stiff upper lip. But yesterday I was beat. Which I didn't realize until I was waking through Costco. My body was dragging and I had to admit it, I was tired. So instead of cleaning up last night as I had planned I sat...and watched TV. My dad is coming in town and I'd like to have things looking decent, at least. But I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything last night. I just wanted enough energy and time to sweep and clean the bathroom. Ugh!

To add to my issues, I haven't gone to the gym since Friday. For those like me letting count that's 5 days. So here's the deal with that...I'm tired. I know it's a lame excuse but it's all I got. I feel bad for not going. Especially because we're paying for it. And being on one income makes me more conscious of the way we spend money. So I feel motivated by that fact alone to go. But again I'm tired. You see I've been trying to go in the morning at 5 am as to not worry about Josi in the daycare. It's starting to get cold and people are getting sick and I'm trying to avoid that like the plague. So I avoid taking her around sick people which seems to be running through gym daycare, eek! Makes me cringe just thinking about it. Keep your sick kids home, and your sick tail home with them. Anywho, so going in the morning was working until Josi changed her schedule. So there's that, and the fact that I've lost my drive. I want to do better but I'm not motivated. And the thing that sucks is I've done this better. Two years ago I lost over 40 pounds with a modified diet and exercise. Then I was motivated, I had some ups and downs but I was a machine. I can't seem to get to that place at this moment. And that took its toll. *eyeroll*

She's close to waking up, so I'll end here. Good thing I did she just opened her eyes. :-)

Updates

Baby Update:

It's been way to long…almost a month. Baby girl will be 6 months Saturday. Part of me is loving the watching her in transition, the other part, just a small part, wants her to be content sleeping on the chest instead of trying to get her hand on everything. But I so thankful she is growing like she should be. I don't take it fro granted at all. She's scheduled for her six month shots tomorrow, hopefully it'll go as well as 4-month shots did.

Josi started eating solid foods. Everything was fine until she realized she could push the food back out with her tongue, or just take it out with her hands. And then rub it everywhere…

She also moved to her crib. She had been co-sleeping, which I was initially against, but it made things so much easier. There are so many schools of thought on this. I don't really care, I had to do what was best for me and my baby, the new theme of my life.

She also a bit of separation anxiety, we kind of both have it. She is aware when I'm in room or when I leave. And I like her to be in my sites at most times. To me this isn't a big deal, this seems normal. We go places and she socializes with other babies, so I'm not too nervous about her being a hermit.

Mommy Update:

I've started getting us involved in more mommy-baby activities. This has proven to be quite helpful, keeps us on a bit of a schedule, gives us something to look forward to day to day (and helps us meet other mommies and babies). I have to thank meetup.com and fb groups of local community activity. Social media can be so helpful sometimes.

I still am looking for personal outlets. I go to the gym I was taking her, but she wasn't doing too great in the gym, so I'm trying to get in the morning before my husband goes to work. This means I am at the gym before the sun fully rises…a mommy is tired…but I've got goals.

My health goals are simple, get ready for the next baby. I don't need abs, just to lose the weight I gained this pregnancy. And some of the weight I was trying to lose before I got pregnant lol.

So there you have it we're trying to find a pattern. But we're making it, and that's what really matters. God bless!